The Hardest Week

I feel like I've been hit by a bus this week. It's been so tough, it has been a long time since I've felt so stressed and it's left me feeling twitchy and on edge. I'm not great at dealing with stress, especially because I have no way of letting it out, so I thought if I let it out here then maybe it will help me feel better. 

Little N's onesie is a sample from Polarn O Pyret

Little N fell really ill at the weekend. He went to football on Sunday morning and to a birthday party at a soft play centre in the afternoon. He had a great time at both but late in the afternoon he just didn't seem himself and at bedtime we noticed he was coming out in a rash on his elbows and knees.

He suffers with eczema but it's been under control for a while now, so on Monday I took him to our GP who diagnosed a staph infection. By now the rash was appearing around Little N's mouth and was spreading down his arms and legs. He was prescribed the world's worst tasting antibiotics and some creams. It was fruitless trying to get the antibiotics down him, they tasted really bitter, and I was having to pin him down to get him to take them. I just felt evil. 

On Tuesday it was my Nan's funeral. I didn't have any tights to wear with my dress so I popped to town to get some. On my way home a van was behind me, and every time I slowed down for the traffic lights he honked at me and was driving ridiculously close. I slowed to let someone pull out of a junction, got honked at again and the van drove into the back of me. Not what I needed on the day of my Nan's funeral. 

My Nan's funeral was lovely, but my Mum - who I've not spoken to in over 5 years - decided to sit right next to me. I don't know what she was expecting, a grand reconciliation perhaps? It made me feel so uncomfortable. I am in the process of grieving, but not being allowed to grieve properly. The day ended with J vomiting all over me at bedtime. Great.

On Wednesday I phoned the GP and asked for Little N's antibiotics to be changed as I was exhausted from wrestling with him to take them, and anything I did get into him he just spat out. He was coming out in blisters now, too. Great, I thought, chicken pox as well? A friend of mine is a nurse, specifically a children's nurse, and thought I should get N seen again as his rash was now all over his body and getting worse not better. We went back to the GP who sent us to children's A&E to be seen by paediatrics. We were sent home after a few hours with new antibiotics and the addition of antivirals, but told to come back if he doesn't start to improve as he will need to have medication via an IV instead.

Yesterday J started to come out in little spots on his bottom, arms and legs and he had tiny blisters appearing on his hands. After sending a photo to my nurse friend, she said she thought it might be hand, foot and mouth disease, a virus prevalent among young children. Just what I need. Fortunately he hasn't been suffering with it, he's quite a tough cookie.

Ian has said he feels ill now too as he is so stressed by what has gone on this week. Though it was me that had the car accident and it was my Nan that passed away, he doesn't seem to comprehend how much harder it must be for me. 

So here I am, just plodding along on my own...


17 comments

  1. Awww huge virtual hug from me. Don't you find as the mum of the household you never get sympathy or empathy from anyone. I hope you're son gets better soon. As for your rash, maybe it's from stress? I'm so sorry to hear about your nan. You need time to grieve. That was very silly of your mum but you're probably right. The funeral has probably made her realise but that wasn't the time to do it. Use your blog to express your feelings. I find a lot of the time it's the only place people will listen to me when i'm upset. My family, especially my hubby never give me the attention I need when i'm upset. I hope everything gets better for you soon. It'll be a new week next week and hopefully things will started looking up xx

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  2. It sounds like you've had a really tough week, I'm so sorry to hear about your Nan's passing. I hope next week is a better week for you after everything that happened this week xx

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  3. What an awful week. When there's an event that's sad or stressful, life seems to just keep piling it on until we crumble. But you are carrying on and even though you think you are not doing well we are inspired by your strength and resilience. Losing my mum was the worse thing to happen to me, I do not remember her funeral or who was there, I just couldn't think or function at all, so despite what has gone between you and your mum, maybe she just felt the need to be close to you that day? I hope you all get better quickly and next week is a good week xx

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  4. Aww! Sending you big hugs! What a rubbish week for you!
    I'm so sorry about your nan.
    I hope your son & hubby is feeling better soon and next week is better for you x

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  5. Oh no, I hope everyone is feeling better soon. Its always a good idea to let these feelings out, no matter what way you do it. I hope you have a better week next week

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  6. Oh lovely! You poor thing you've been through the mill a bit this week! I hope getting it all out was therapeutic and I'm sure the happier days will be right around the corner

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  7. Oh bless you! Some weeks are so difficult, I understand. I am so sorry about your Nan btw :( Big hugs xxx

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  8. Sorry you've had such a tough week love. I thought I had too but when I read about your week I feel guilty about feeling sorry for myself. Onwards and upwards hun, and I hope that next week is 10 times better xx

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    1. Also I'm sorry to hear about your Nan and hope that you're ok after the accident and your car isn't too badly damaged x

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  9. You poor thing, what a crap week indeed.
    Fingers crossed next week will be better for you, sending lots of virtual love xxx

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  10. Oh Sian! It seems like you have had the most horrendous week. I hope your little one feels better soon and I'm so sorry to hear about your nan. That was very selfish of your mother - a funeral is a place to grieve, she could have come to see you later or tried to reconcile things in another way. Sending you huge virtual hugs, wine and chocolate. Lots of love, keep your chin up you wonderful lady :) H xxx

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  11. Oh Sian, big hugs lovely, what a rotten week. So sorry about the passing of your nan and that your other half isn't appreciating the impact it's all having on you. I hope the hand foot and mouth passes soon, it's definitely not as bad as pox, the spots don't itch so hopefully he's already feeling loads better xx

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  12. oh Sian this sounds like such a hard week for you even one of those things happening would be a nightmare let alone all at once! sending some love xxx

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  13. Oh Sian, if you weren't all so bloomin contagious I'd come give you a hug!!! You aren't on your own, you have me at the end of a phone any time you know that xxx

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  14. Hello my dear,

    Oh this sounds like a super tough week. It’s funny how one awful thing happens then it seems to pile up, almost like the Universe is testing us. But everything is transient, these things will pass (I have been trying to think like this every day because I too have these moments of heaviness what with all the major things that have been happening in the last year). The Mr came home with some bad news yesterday and if he wasn’t so positive and supportive I would’ve cracked up a long time ago. Anyway...

    Firstly - ill babies! The worst thing. My two have had never ending colds and I keep getting stupid comments like “WHY are they always ill?” - you tell me? It’s not like I would choose it. Sleepless nights are no fun. But it’s ok, they get better, then ill again - at least they are building up their immune systems :D

    Your Nan, I am so sorry to hear about her passing. It’s very hard isn’t it? Recently we had a funeral on my husband’s side and it was awkward because of some family we don’t speak to. I purposely kept my distance from them as it wasn’t me grieving to not make things awkward. I don’t know of they expected a reconciliation too! It didn’t happen. But (and of course I don’t know about you and your mum) maybe she just wanted to be near you at that time. Family death always makes you think about the people still around I guess.

    The car! Sounds like a bullying driver. But he drove in to you so the idiot will suffer the consequences with his insurance etc. Don’t let a random play on your mind too much.

    You need some time out I’m serious! It’s nearly the weekend! Go for a yoga session or a cup of coffee by yourself I COMMAND THEE. I am sure your other half can look after them for a few hours :D

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  15. Hello there! I'm sorry that you had such a crap week and my thoughts are with your family!
    I couldn't help but empathise with little N's eczema...we went through the same thing with my baby Jimmy. Now he is cured! No steroids! No antibiotics and no cream! The man Dr Harley Farmer is who you need to contact as he runs a highly successful ex-eczema programme. Here is me talking all about it... https://youtu.be/Xi7Tzy7niOE

    I've just started my own blog at http://mammypoppins84@blogspot.co.uk
    If you'd like to take a look, I will probably to a skin blog very soon!
    Love Cathy - MammyPoppins xxx

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  16. Oh sounds like a really tough week :( I always find that writing stuff down helps a lot. I think thats why I started blogging in the first place! I hope you manage to have a better weekend and start again next week xxx

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